He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
