good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
