im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
