evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
