ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
