Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
