its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize