We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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