In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
