im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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