sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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