When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
