Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
