dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
