Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
