Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
