saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
