You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
