She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
