we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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