I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
