Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
