Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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