Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
