hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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