respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
