The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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