so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
