Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
