i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
