the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
