Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
