Are we in a gay sports bar?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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