I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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