I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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