"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
