Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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