so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
