discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
