At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
