Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
