My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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