i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
He shit in the fireplace
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