Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
home. puking in laundry basket.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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