i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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