He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
