It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
