where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
