The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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