New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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