I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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