I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
